BY LUCINDA MARTIN OF VOWS & KISSES INTERFAITH WEDDING MINISTER
The recent events in Boston have left me feeling quite raw. A bit more emotional this morning, I found myself shedding some tears as I was writing a ceremony for a couple that recently lost a parent, and wanted to include something to honor him.
It is not unusual to counsel couples that are wrestling with the emotions of a wedding celebration while still navigating some grief. I encourage couples to include the element “Remembering Loved Ones”, in the wedding ceremony and allow for the emotions and tears; after all it is a sacred ceremony and a well -crafted ceremony evokes many emotions for the bridal party and the guests. (Make sure to bring tissues for the guests, I suggest.) After “Remembering Loved Ones” and a brief moment of silence, we will “pick up” the energy, with a whimsical or inspirational reading or a fun story of how the couple met or became engaged.
Today, I made some changes to this element that I typically provide as a sample to consider, and felt compelled to share it. I am suggesting that the presence of a loved one that has passed is reflected in the smiles of the guests.
Remembering Loved Ones
“We have learned from an excerpt of, Corinthian’s 13, a bible verse about love; “Love is patient and kind; Love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never gives up. Love is eternal. Love never ends.”
We acknowledge the loved ones who surround you now, and the love that never ends from those who were close to you, but are not here today and would rejoice with you if they were. Your love for them and their love for you has no end.
We speak a word in loving remembrance of friends and family unable to be with us here today and know they are sending their love in support of your special day.
We speak a special word in loving remembrance of (Bride/Groom’s relative and name) father, as we see the reflection his loving presence in all the happy faces here today.
We go into silence now, allowing for the loving presence of all our ancestors.”
And, so, in a moment of silence I bless all and send peace to Boston and all of the friends, families and our nation as we are healing.
‘You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty the ocean does not become dirty.”